Don’t Know

I don’t know where I’m goin’

Hell, I don’t even know where I’ve been

I’ve spent so many hours

Waiting to begin

And I have lived through so much darkness

And I’m not doing that again

It seems like such a long time

Did I ever know the truth

Years of looking to the outside

for some acknowledgment by you

But you will tell me whatever suits you

and whatever works the best for you

I am open, I am

I am different, I am

I am perfectly broken

and that’s the way I want to be

I am jealous, I am

I am hiding

I am the star that will shine in your sky,

I am free

I live my life my own way

And I paint outside the lines

Doesn’t seem to work in your world,

But your world isn’t mine

And I don’t know where I’m going

But that’s okay

I’m gonna have fun while I can

I am open, I am

I am different, I am

I am perfectly broken

and that’s the way I want to be.

I am jealous, I am

I am hiding

I am the star that will shine in your sky,

I am free

I don’t know where I’m goin’

I’ve spent so much of my life

Waiting to begin

I have lived through so much darkness

And I’m telling you that now

I’m gonna have fun while I can

Goodbye Without Leaving

You are on your own

And I know what you're thinking

I lay each night beside you

But it's over

If you'd take the time to see,

You'd see it's killing me

The empty words as we smile

Oh, so emptily

But I know what's right

And so I do what's right….

And I stay, I lie in your arms

Goodbye without leaving

And everyday I pray you'll know the truth

That I may die in your arms

But I'm whispering goodbye.

I am on my own

It's been that way for too long

But I'm faithful 'cause I promised to be

Even though it's killing me

And how can you not see

Do you even look at me

'Cause my heart is flailing blindly

Blindly

But I know what's right

And so I do what's right….

And I stay, I lie in your arms

Goodbye without leaving

And everyday I pray you'll know the truth

That I may die in your arms

But I'm whispering

I am whispering….

How can you not even notice it's all wrong?

How can you not even know that I'm gone?

How can you not even know what's going on around you?

How can you be satisfied with this game

Can't you see me squirm

when you say my name

How can you be satisfied with this life

When I don't even try to love you

And I stay, I lie in your arms

Goodbye without leaving

And everyday I pray you'll know the truth

That I may die in your arms

Die in your arms           

And everyday I pray you'll know the truth

That I may die in your arms,

but I'm whispering goodbye.

Easier to Lie

I’ll fall apart over here, just ignore me

I could be fine, I could make you adore me

But it’s hard, hard enough to know

 that I’m faking

And it’s hard, hard enough to know

 that I am naked

I often rage at the way that I hurt me

Can’t seem to stop all these thoughts that pervert me

‘Cause it’s hard, hard enough to know

 that I’m different

And it’s hard, hard enough to know

 I could be perfect

No, it’s easier to die

It’s easier to fade

It’s easier to lie

And walk away

I’ll make a few mistakes

Be sure to let you down

I’ll fade.

I’ll fall apart over here, just ignore me

I’ll prove to you, you could never adore me

And it’s hard, hard to let you go

but it’s needed

Yes, it’s hard, hard to let you go,

but it’s like breathing.

No, it’s easier to die

It’s easier to fade

It’s easier to lie

And walk away

I’ll make a few mistakes

Be sure to let you down

‘Cause if you see all that I can really be

How long before you ask me

And if it seems like I’ve got

much more to give

How long before you test me

At least right now, I have an out

I wasn’t really trying, I was holding back

So, you never have to find out if there’s really nothing else at all.

No, it’s easier to die

It’s easier to fade

It’s easier to lie

And walk away

I’ll make a few mistakes

Be sure to let you down

I’ll give myself some space         

Keep you from hanging around

It’s easier to die

It’s easier to fade

It’s easier to lie.

Never Thought

You snuck up behind me

When I wasn’t looking

When you pressed up against me

I didn’t push you away

I wasn’t looking for love

I was looking for myself

I spent too many hours

Giving to everybody else

And I never thought I could

Never thought I would fall in love again

Everything’s clearer

Then I ever thought it would be

And everything’s nearer

To what I dreamed love could be

For the first time in my life

For the first time I believe

You say everything’s for me

That you will never leave

And I never thought I could

Never thought I would fall in love again

Baby, baby, I’m going crazy

And I don’t seem to care

Let’s blow it all off, and let’s be lazy

I want you forever here

You snuck up behind me

When I wasn’t looking

Your happiness blinds me

And you say it’s because of me

You are everything I want

You’re everything I need

You don’t take anything away

I can be who I can be

And I never thought I could

Never thought I would fall in love again.

Corner of my Heart

As I walk through these crowded streets

all alone, I think of you

And a little hope that you’ve put
inside my heart

But I fear letting go

And I fear that little hope

in the corner of my heart.

My soul smiles from all the crazy things

that you do

And you’ve proved that I can

put my trust in you

But I fear letting go

And I fear that little hope

inside my heart,

in the corner of my heart.

And I know that although

your love seems so true

It could all be taken away too soon.

I awake and I watch you sleep, so serene  

And I know that I’m going to let you in

But I fear letting go

And I fear that little hope

inside my heart,

in the corner of my heart.

Never Become  

I did too good at job at wondering

What makes a good life anyway

'Cause I sacrifice and cry and push through

When I want to hide away

The oldest lessons are the best learned

And a skinny blonde I'll never be

Does that make me nothing special,

Not meant to have the dream

'Cause no one cares

I’m just a pretty enough, clever enough, busy enough, I’m crazy enough

Just enough to be like everybody else

And I hate I’ll never be skinny enough,

peaceful enough, unique enough, mysterious

And I hate I’ll never become somebody else

I've read all the right books

I've tried so hard to change

I know that I'm supposed to believe, live in the right here and now

But all of this talking and I'm just mired in a sea of nothing

'Cause no one cares

I’m just a pretty enough, clever enough, busy enough, I’m crazy enough

Just enough to be like everybody else

And I hate I’ll never be skinny enough,

peaceful enough, unique enough, mysterious

And I hate I’ll never become somebody

There must be more to live than this

There is more to me than candy

you could wear proudly on your arm

And if different's what you need,

why'd you turn your back and leave

I could break your heart

if you would only let me

But no one cares

I’m just a pretty enough, clever enough, busy enough, I’m crazy enough

Just enough to be like everybody else

And I hate I’ll never be skinny enough,

peaceful enough, unique enough, mysterious

And I hate I’ll never become somebody else.

Lucky

I’m so strange and so misguided

It’s the way I’ve always been                 

Shining on the outside

But the rest is all pretend          

'Cause I feel there's nothing inside

But pain and hate and bruised pride

And everyday I must hide

'Cause you will hurt me over again