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Don’t Know
I
don’t know where I’m goin’
Hell,
I don’t even know where I’ve been
I’ve
spent so many hours
Waiting
to begin
And
I have lived through so much darkness
And
I’m not doing that again
It
seems like such a long time
Did
I ever know the truth
Years
of looking to the outside
for
some acknowledgment by you
But
you will tell me whatever suits you
and
whatever works the best for you
I am
open, I am
I am
different, I am
I am
perfectly broken
and
that’s the way I want to be
I am
jealous, I am
I am
hiding
I am
the star that will shine in your sky,
I am
free
I
live my life my own way
And
I paint outside the lines
Doesn’t
seem to work in your world,
But
your world isn’t mine
And
I don’t know where I’m going
But
that’s okay
I’m gonna have fun while I can
I am
open, I am
I am
different, I am
I am
perfectly broken
and that’s the way I want to be.
I am
jealous, I am
I am
hiding
I am
the star that will shine in your sky,
I am
free
I
don’t know where I’m goin’
I’ve
spent so much of my life
Waiting
to begin
I
have lived through so much darkness
And
I’m telling you that now
I’m gonna have fun while I can
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Goodbye Without Leaving
You
are on your own
And
I know what you're thinking
I
lay each night beside you
But
it's over
If
you'd take the time to see,
You'd
see it's killing me
The
empty words as we smile
Oh,
so emptily
But
I know what's right
And
so I do what's right….
And
I stay, I lie in your arms
Goodbye
without leaving
And
everyday I pray you'll know the truth
That
I may die in your arms
But
I'm whispering goodbye.
I am
on my own
It's
been that way for too long
But
I'm faithful 'cause I promised to be
Even
though it's killing me
And
how can you not see
Do
you even look at me
'Cause
my heart is flailing blindly
Blindly
But
I know what's right
And
so I do what's right….
And
I stay, I lie in your arms
Goodbye
without leaving
And
everyday I pray you'll know the truth
That
I may die in your arms
But
I'm whispering
I am
whispering….
How
can you not even notice it's all wrong?
How
can you not even know that I'm gone?
How
can you not even know what's going on around you?
How
can you be satisfied with this game
Can't
you see me squirm
when
you say my name
How
can you be satisfied with this life
When
I don't even try to love you
And
I stay, I lie in your arms
Goodbye
without leaving
And
everyday I pray you'll know the truth
That
I may die in your arms
Die
in your arms
And
everyday I pray you'll know the truth
That
I may die in your arms,
but I'm whispering goodbye.
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Easier to Lie
I’ll
fall apart over here, just ignore me
I
could be fine, I could make you adore me
But
it’s hard, hard enough to know
that I’m faking
And
it’s hard, hard enough to know
that I am naked
I
often rage at the way that I hurt me
Can’t
seem to stop all these thoughts that pervert me
‘Cause
it’s hard, hard enough to know
that I’m different
And
it’s hard, hard enough to know
I could be perfect
No,
it’s easier to die
It’s
easier to fade
It’s
easier to lie
And
walk away
I’ll
make a few mistakes
Be
sure to let you down
I’ll
fade.
I’ll
fall apart over here, just ignore me
I’ll
prove to you, you could never adore me
And
it’s hard, hard to let you go
but
it’s needed
Yes,
it’s hard, hard to let you go,
but it’s like breathing.
No,
it’s easier to die
It’s
easier to fade
It’s
easier to lie
And
walk away
I’ll
make a few mistakes
Be
sure to let you down
‘Cause
if you see all that I can really be
How
long before you ask me
And
if it seems like I’ve got
much
more to give
How
long before you test me
At
least right now, I have an out
I
wasn’t really trying, I was holding back
So,
you never have to find out if there’s really nothing else at all.
No,
it’s easier to die
It’s
easier to fade
It’s
easier to lie
And
walk away
I’ll
make a few mistakes
Be
sure to let you down
I’ll
give myself some space
Keep
you from hanging around
It’s
easier to die
It’s
easier to fade
It’s
easier to lie.
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Never Thought
You snuck up behind
me
When
I wasn’t looking
When
you pressed up against me
I
didn’t push you away
I
wasn’t looking for love
I
was looking for myself
I
spent too many hours
Giving
to everybody else
And
I never thought I could
Never
thought I would fall in love again
Everything’s
clearer
Then
I ever thought it would be
And
everything’s nearer
To
what I dreamed love could be
For
the first time in my life
For
the first time I believe
You
say everything’s for me
That
you will never leave
And
I never thought I could
Never
thought I would fall in love again
Baby,
baby, I’m going crazy
And
I don’t seem to care
Let’s
blow it all off, and let’s be lazy
I
want you forever here
You
snuck up behind me
When
I wasn’t looking
Your
happiness blinds me
And
you say it’s because of me
You
are everything I want
You’re
everything I need
You
don’t take anything away
I
can be who I can be
And
I never thought I could
Never
thought I would fall in love again.
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Corner of my Heart
As I
walk through these crowded streets
all
alone, I think of you
And
a little hope that you’ve put
inside my heart
But
I fear letting go
And
I fear that little hope
in the corner of my heart.
My
soul smiles from all the crazy things
that
you do
And
you’ve proved that I can
put
my trust in you
But
I fear letting go
And
I fear that little hope
inside
my heart,
in the corner of my heart.
And
I know that although
your
love seems so true
It
could all be taken away too soon.
I
awake and I watch you sleep, so serene
And
I know that I’m going to let you in
But
I fear letting go
And
I fear that little hope
inside
my heart,
in the corner of my heart.
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Never Become
I
did too good at job at wondering
What
makes a good life anyway
'Cause
I sacrifice and cry and push through
When
I want to hide away
The
oldest lessons are the best learned
And
a skinny blonde I'll never be
Does
that make me nothing special,
Not
meant to have the dream
'Cause
no one cares
I’m
just a pretty enough, clever enough, busy enough, I’m crazy enough
Just
enough to be like everybody else
And
I hate I’ll never be skinny enough,
peaceful
enough, unique enough, mysterious
And
I hate I’ll never become somebody else
I've
read all the right books
I've
tried so hard to change
I
know that I'm supposed to believe, live in the right here and now
But
all of this talking and I'm just mired in a sea of nothing
'Cause
no one cares
I’m
just a pretty enough, clever enough, busy enough, I’m crazy enough
Just
enough to be like everybody else
And
I hate I’ll never be skinny enough,
peaceful
enough, unique enough, mysterious
And
I hate I’ll never become somebody
There
must be more to live than this
There
is more to me than candy
you
could wear proudly on your arm
And
if different's what you need,
why'd
you turn your back and leave
I
could break your heart
if
you would only let me
But
no one cares
I’m
just a pretty enough, clever enough, busy enough, I’m crazy enough
Just
enough to be like everybody else
And
I hate I’ll never be skinny enough,
peaceful
enough, unique enough, mysterious
And
I hate I’ll never become somebody else.
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Lucky
I’m so strange and
so misguided
It’s
the way I’ve always been
Shining
on the outside
But
the rest is all pretend
'Cause
I feel there's nothing inside
But
pain and hate and bruised pride
And
everyday I must hide
'Cause
you will hurt me over again
You
have so much power
And
it’s all so damn old
I
know that I can let this go,
That
I can take control
But
I feel there’s nothing inside
But
pain and hate and bruised pride
And
everyday I must hide
'Cause
you will hurt me over again.
Give
you an inch and you take a mile
And
you criticize, belittle,
and
you tell me to smile
Don’t
tell me to smile, no, no…
And
don’t come looking for forgiveness
Don’t
come looking for peace
You
won’t find it 'cause I won’t let you
Get
a moment when you’ll be free
Cause
I wasn’t so lucky
I
wasn’t so lucky.
Every
day it hurts more
Will
it ever hurt less
It’s
easier to not say a word
But
the price is years depressed
‘Cause
now I feel there’s nothing inside
But
pain and hate and bruised pride
And
everyday I must hide
‘Cause
you will hurt me all over again.
Give
you an inch and you take a mile
And
you criticize, belittle
and
you tell me to smile
Don’t
tell me to smile, no, no…
And
don’t come looking for forgiveness
Don’t
come looking for peace
You
won’t find it 'cause I won’t let you
Get
a moment when you’ll be free
Cause
I wasn’t so lucky
So
why should you be?
You
say you forgive me…
That
you forgive me
Why
don’t you stay there in the bed you made, in the hate you gave
It
won’t be okay
I
said, why don’t you stay there in the bed you made, in the hate you gave
It
won’t be okay
It’ll
never be okay.
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Junkie
Just
need a little something
to
get me through
Just
a little taste
and
I'll be good as new
'Cause
I need
I
bleed….
It's
an evil thing
that
you've done to me
Try
to give you up
but
I can't seem to break free
I
can't breathe
And
I am weak
Can't
somebody stop me
And
I am aching
I am
breaking
Please
somebody stop me
'Cause
I've been starving for too long
But
it don't make a difference
I
know deep down that this is wrong
But
I can't stop this obsession
And
I should turn away, I should run
But
I can't stop missing
Your
arms, your teeth, your lips, your love….
Each
day that I want you,
it's
me I hate
But
like a moth to a flame,
I
can't stay away
So I
drown
Get
sucked down
'Til I am crawling
I
keep trying
But
I can't fight it
And
I am falling
And
I've been starving for too long
But
it don't make a difference
I
know deep down that this is wrong
But
I can't stop this obsession
And
I should turn away, I should run
But
I can't stop missing
Your
arms, your teeth, your lips, your love
Your
skin, your breath,
oh,
it melts me like a drug
I
can't fight it, can't deny it,
I
can't get enough
I'm
a junkie, a junkie for your love.
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Birthday
It seems that I’ve
been born to dream
It
seems that I’ve been born to hate
It
seems that I’ve been born to wish
That
I’d been born to someone else.
It
seems that I am not alive
And
I have thought about the end
And
I have thought to do act it out
To
just do something – well, you know.
I am
not the perfect daughter
I am
not your perfect angel
I am
not anything your heart desires
I am
just – I am.
I am
not your little chess piece
I’m
not here to satisfy you
I’m
not here to do what you want me to do
I am
just – I am.
Oh,
I am.
Don’t
worry when you’re not around
Your
voice is screaming in my head
Of
all the things that I’ve done wrong
Of
what you would have done instead.
I am
not the perfect daughter
I am
not your perfect angel
I am
not anything your heart desires
I am
just – I am.
I am
not your little chess piece
I’m
not here to satisfy you
I’m
not here to do what you want me to do
I am
just – I am.
And
on this blessed day
The
anniversary of my birth
I am
up at three a.m.
Penning
this acrid dearth
To
record what has become of me
To
record what has become of me
To
record: This is what’s become of me
I am
not the perfect daughter
I am
not your perfect angel
I am
not anything your heart desires
I am
just – I am.
I am
not your little chess piece
I’m
not here to satisfy you
I’m
not here to do what you want me to do
I am
just – I am.
Oh,
I am.
It
seems that I’ve been born to dream
It
seems that I’ve been born to hate
It
seems that I’ve been born to wish
That
I’d been born to someone else.
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Bad Day
Don't
want to be patient anymore
And
I'm tired of being, oh, so very nice
Just
want to have some pain that I don't ignore
Want
to live my life with a bunch of vices,
With
no-one's advices
Want
to have a bad day
Want
to revel and scream and shout
Want
to have everything my way
Want
to rant and rave and bitch and run around
Want
to have a bad day
I'm
tired of always doing everything 'right'
And
I'm tired of always following the rules
Everyone
seems to know what's best for my life
And
I listen, and I follow,
And
I am the biggest fool
Want
to have a bad day
Want
to revel and scream and shout
Want
to have everything my way
Want
to rant and rave and bitch and run around
But
is there anything left but feeling guilt
Is
there any way to live a life without regret
There's
so much that I want, and still
I
know in my heart, that I'll never get there
Want
to have a bad day
Want
to revel and scream and shout
Want
to have everything my way
Want
to rant and rave and bitch and run around
Want
to have a bad day.
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If You See Me
When
you think about forever
Do
you ever think of me
>Cause I am camped
out here on eggshells
Clinging
to our dreams
You
lived like I was your salvation
But
now I’m just a girl
And
this disaster’s our creation
Our
black mark upon the world
And
if you see me walk away
Would
you beg for me to stay
>Cause I don’t want
to let this go
But
I have got to break this hold
'Cause
you're killing me.
You’re
unwilling to admit it
Twice
in one year to claim defeat
But
fighting just to avoid the branding...
Silence
is not peace
And
if you see me walk away
Would
you beg for me to stay
>Cause I don’t want
to let this go
But
I have got to break this hold
You
look for reasons
so
you can make me disappear
'Cause
it's easier to kill me
than it is for you to leave.
And
if you see me walk away
Would
you beg for me to stay
'Cause
I don't want to let this go
But
I have got to break this hold
'Cause
you're killing me.
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